Have you joked around with a student and then noticed that they didn’t look entertained? Or worse, have you ever offended or confused a student with your sense of humor? 🙋

Humor can make or break a tutor-student relationship, so let’s make sure we know how to pick the occasion!

Students Who Don’t Welcome Humor

Fortunately, we can usually figure out whether to use humor during the self-introduction. If a student asks to skip the self-introduction, we can be 99% sure that they won’t appreciate jokes. After all, students like these “mean business”; they want to cover as much material as possible in the 25 minutes.

Now, let’s suppose the student does want a self-introduction. Use the self-introduction, as always, to gauge the student’s level. If you determine that the student is a beginner, then avoid humor.

Beginners won’t appreciate humor, because they can’t. From student interviews, we know that beginners barely understand what their tutors say in the first few weeks of lessons:

The first lesson was very discouraging. Even though the teacher talked to me patiently, I couldn't understand them.
– Justin (🇹🇼)

As you can imagine, using humor would make our English even more difficult to understand. So with beginners, let’s stick to simple English and lots of smiling!

Now that we know to avoid humor with beginners and students who skip self-introductions, who can we joke around with?

Students Who Welcome Humor

During self-introductions, students usually talk about where they live or work. Intermediate and advanced students who live abroad, travel abroad frequently, or work in international settings are usually interested in humor. It can make the difference between having a social life and being a social outcast.

If this sounds extreme, check out this quote from an international student at a US university:

I don't understand American jokes. Nine out of ten I don't understand. Everyone is laughing. I feel dumb. I feel, oh, I will never be in this group.

Sadly, many of our students share this frustration. For example, a student mentioned this story when we asked why she started learning with us:

At lunch, my international co-workers would start talking in English … sometimes about topics I can’t discuss even in Japanese. So not only could I not follow the conversation, [but] I also couldn’t understand their jokes. When everyone laughed, I felt left out.
– Hirono-san (🇯🇵)

For this student, not being able to take part in humor was an obstacle to her relationships with co-workers. Another student, who often travels abroad, mentioned a similar episode:

When my family and I went to Hawaii, the guide would crack jokes, which everyone understood, except for my family!
– Tomoko-san (🇯🇵)

So if you notice that a student is in a similar situation, it’s safe to assume that they’ll be more accepting of jokes – if not eager to learn some themselves! In fact, the student above even measured her progress in English with her ability to crack jokes: “At first, I couldn't understand simple things tutors said, ‘Let's do this today.’ Now when the tutor makes a joke, I can reply with a joke!”

And in this case, one way we can make ourselves stand out is to teach them how to joke around in English … more on that in a future post!

When It’s Unclear

However, sometimes a student’s attitude towards humor is unclear from their self-introduction. Some students seem serious, but are actually just tense and nervous.

So we can “test the waters” with a joke or two. For example, Tutor Mesi (🇿🇼) often answers the question, “What is your hobby?” with a little joke: “I like shopping ... but only when I have money!”

You can try something similar. Maybe you’ll get a few giggles, maybe not. But at least you'll know how to proceed for the rest of the lesson.

Finally, don’t be surprised if a student seems serious at first, but then opens up to humor after a few months. “In Japan, ... you have a few drinks, and people can be very funny,” explains a Japanese comic novelist. “But you don't try to break the ice with humor when you first meet somebody.”

In other words, some cultures take more time to open up, so we’ll want to save the jokes for later!

👋 That’s it for now!

We hope this has given you a better idea of when to joke around. Happy tutoring!

• cross-cultural communication