How to Avoid Answering Sensitive Questions

It happens every now and then: a student asks a question that is too personal or just not appropriate for a lesson. It puts you in an uncomfortable position and could even bring the lesson to an awkward stop.

Most of the time these are innocent mistakes, and situations that are serious enough to contact Tutor Support are rare. But even the less-serious cases need to be handled carefully. How can you avoid sharing sensitive information and help the student keep away from sensitive topics in the future? This post will cover a few alternatives you can use.

Things to remember

First of all, as mentioned in the FAQ, it's important to keep in mind that a question you feel is rude or inappropriate may not seem that way to the student who asked you. Any time there is communication between people from different cultures, there is a possibility for misunderstandings like this.

So chances are good that your student is not trying to offend you or make you feel uncomfortable, but is simply saying something that they do not realize might be inappropriate. With that in mind, let's look at some ways to avoid answering those unwanted questions and move the lesson in a better direction.

Saying “No”

The most direct way of handling these situations is to simply say that you will not answer the question. This can still be done politely, of course.

You can also replace "I'm sorry" with the more casual "No offense."

This can be followed up by moving the conversation back to the material or a more appropriate way of discussing the topic of the lesson.

Turning the situation into a teachable moment

Again, most of our students are not trying to offend anyone. They would likely appreciate it if you told them their question was inappropriate so that they do not repeat the mistake with you or anyone else.

You can also use the opportunity to introduce some vocabulary that may be new to them.

Being vague

Another way to deal with awkward or unwanted questions is to give only some information in response. Expressions like "Let's just say" and "All I will say" can be useful if you are surprised by a sensitive question.

Again, follow up your vague answer with a comment or question of your own to move away from the sensitive topic.

Answering a question vaguely can save you in the moment, but the real goal is to help the student understand that their question was not acceptable so that they don't ask similar questions in the future. This is especially true for anything that could be considered harassment. If their behavior goes beyond an innocent mention of taboo topics, you may need to warn them you will end the lesson if they continue.

If the troubling behavior doesn't stop, end the lesson and contact Tutor Support. If you're not sure what behavior from students is acceptable, you can read more about that on our help page about dealing with inappropriate student behavior.

Teaching them how to politely ask sensitive questions

After you've explained that their question was unacceptable or could be considered rude, you have another chance at a teaching moment if you think it's appropriate in that situation. Introduce some expressions to carefully bring up sensitive topics.

Be sure to remind them that even if they ask politely, the other person (in this case, you!) can still refuse to answer and they should move to another topic.

Wrap-up

Successful tutoring requires many skills. Handling awkward situations, protecting the feelings of others and staying professional all at the same time is just one of them. Remember that Tutor Support is there to assist you if you feel a student has crossed a line in a serious way. 

Finally, here's another article with more tips on how to handle awkward situations when tutoring.