Help Students Use "You Know" Like a Native Speaker
Students who watch English-language movies or listen to fluent speakers in casual conversations will definitely hear the short phrase "you know" often. It is so common that most people probably don't realize that they are saying it.
For learners, it can be confusing to understand and even more challenging to use. So it's worth taking some time during a free conversation lesson to explain the different ways it is used. We hope you can use this article as a general guide to help you.
A note on pronunciation
Before we move on to the meanings, it's important that students understand how "you know" sounds in real conversations. Be sure to demonstrate that instead of sounding like two separate words, they are usually pushed together so that it sounds more like "y'know."
The meanings of “you know”
The next thing to explain is that it is only part of a larger phrase; the full version, of course, being "Do you know what I mean?"
Sharp students, however, will notice that it often doesn't sound like a question at all in real conversations. So it's time to go into the actual uses, which depend on the context.
Filler word
The most common usage of "you know" has no meaning. It is a great example of words simply used to fill a silence when the speaker does not know exactly what to say. You can point out its similarity to classics like "uh" and "um."
We went to, you know, that new restaurant down the street. I forgot what it's called.
Expressing nervousness
Similar to the filler usage above, people often say "you know" when unsure how to reply to a question or when they are hesitant to give an answer. It's used to give themselves more time to think of a response.
Kim
Where were you last night?
Stan
I was, you know, just hanging out with some friends…
Introducing examples
It's often used before giving examples.
Tim
What kind of music do you like?
Criss
You know, hip hop, jazz and electronic music. A lot of different styles.
Softening a request
People often use "you know" when they are asking a sensitive question or simply to make a request sound softer.
I was thinking we could, you know, have dinner together. Are you free this weekend?
Adding emphasis
It can also add emphasis to the final part of a statement. Be sure to mention this usage normally has a sarcastic tone, so students should be careful who they use it with.
If you weren't sure how to do it, you could've, you know, asked for help.
Making a statement more casual
It can be used to create a casual, friendly feeling in a conversation.
James
What are you doing today?
Sam
We're just hanging out and playing some video games, you know? Come and join us!
Expressing frustration
It's also a casual way to express annoyance or frustration.
She can be really difficult to work with sometimes, you know?
“You know what?”
If you're already on the topic, consider also explaining "You know what," another common, informal phrase. Just like "you know," it looks like a question, but the speaker is not expecting a reply. Instead, it's often used to emphasize an opinion or a decision that the speaker has just made.
You know what? I'm not going to the movie theater after all; I'm going to watch something at home instead.
Again, students should be careful, as this can make their statements sound much bolder and more direct in some situations.Â
You know what? Your bad attitude is having a negative effect on the team.
Wrap-up
While this information won't be helpful for students preparing to give a speech or to speak in formal settings, understanding how to use "you know" will benefit them in nearly all kinds of casual situations.
Be sure to point out that it shouldn't be overused, as doing so can make the speaker sound indecisive, unintelligent or even suspicious. However, careful usage can take them that much further along the road to fluency.
