How to Avoid Answering Sensitive Questions [Updated]

It happens every now and then: a student asks a question that is too personal or just not appropriate for a lesson. It puts you in an uncomfortable position and could even bring the lesson to an awkward stop.

Most of the time, these are innocent mistakes, and situations that are serious enough to contact Tutor Support are rare. But even the less-serious cases need to be handled carefully.

How can you avoid sharing sensitive information and help your students keep away from touchy topics in the future? This post will cover a few ways to handle these types of situations.

Things to Remember

First of all, as mentioned in the FAQ, it's important to keep in mind that a question you feel is rude or inappropriate may not seem that way to the student who asked you. Any communication between people from different cultures brings a possibility for misunderstandings like this.

So chances are good that your student is not trying to offend you or make you feel uncomfortable — they simply may not realize their questions could be considered inappropriate.

With that in mind, let's look at some ways to avoid answering those unwanted questions and move the lesson in a better direction.

Handling Sensitive Questions

Say “No”

The most direct way of handling these situations is to simply say that you will not answer the question. This can still be done politely, of course.

• I'm sorry, but I'd prefer not to talk about that.
• I'm sorry, but I don't want to share that information.
• I don't mean to be rude, but I don't want to answer that question.

You can also replace "I'm sorry" with the more casual "No offense."

• No offense, but I'd rather not say.

This can be followed up by moving the conversation back to the material or a more appropriate discussion of the topic of the lesson.

• Let's stay on topic.
• Let's go back to the material, please.

Turn the situation into a teachable moment

Again, most of our students are not trying to offend anyone. They would likely appreciate it if you told them their question was inappropriate so that they don't repeat the mistake with you or anyone else. We can do this in a few different ways:

• You should know that in some cultures, asking others about –– is impolite.

You can also use the opportunity to introduce some vocabulary that may be new to them.

• Do you know what a "taboo" is? It’s a topic that people do not talk about in public. Asking about –– is a taboo in my country.
• Talking about –– is taboo in my culture/country.
• Sorry, but that topic is off limits, which means I'd rather not talk discuss it.

Be vague

Another way to deal with awkward or unwanted questions is to give only some information in response. Expressions like "Let's just say ~" and "All I will say ~" can be useful if you are presented with a sensitive question.

Again, follow up your vague answer with a comment or question of your own to move away from the sensitive topic.

Answering a question vaguely can save you in the moment, but the real goal is to help the student understand that their question was not acceptable so that they don't ask similar questions in the future. This is especially true for anything that could be considered harassment. 

If their behavior goes beyond an innocent mention of taboo topics, you may need to warn them that you will end the lesson if they continue.

If the troubling behavior doesn't stop, end the lesson and contact Tutor Support. If you're not sure about what is acceptable and what isn't, read more about it in our help page on dealing with inappropriate student behavior.

Introduce ways to politely ask sensitive questions

After you've explained that their question was unacceptable or could be considered rude, you're presented with another teachable moment. Introduce some expressions they can use to carefully bring up sensitive topics.

• May I ask you a personal question?
• I hope I'm not being rude by asking you …
• Is it OK if I ask you about …?

Be sure to remind them that even if they ask politely, the other person (in this case, you!) can still refuse to answer, and in such cases, they should move to another topic.

Wrap-Up

Successful tutoring requires many skills. The ability to handle awkward situations while staying professional and protecting the feelings of others is just one of them. Remember that Tutor Support is available to assist you if you feel a student has crossed a line in a serious way. 

In addition to the help page mentioned earlier, here's another article with more tips on how to handle awkward situations when tutoring.

• cross-cultural communication
• sensitive topics