When to Use (And Not Use) "Whom"

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English learners often don't know how to use the word "whom." After all, the rules they learned about it in class don't seem to apply to the real world! So below is a new set of rules to explain how "whom" is (and isn't) used in modern English.

Rule #1: Use “Whom” in “To Whom It May Concern”

In modern English, it is often acceptable to use "who" instead of "whom." However, in the formal greeting "to whom it may concern," "whom" is required.

You can explain that this is a formal greeting used in emails and letters to people you don't know. For example, job applicants might start a cover letter with “To whom it may concern" because they don't know who will review it.

Rule #2: Use “Whom” in Phrases like “Some of Whom”

Another case where it would be odd to use "who" is in phrases like "some of whom," "many of whom," and "few of whom." In fact, Lexico.com calls this the “obligatory whom.”

“... of whom” is also quite common in informal speech. For example, we searched through the TV Corpus (which includes TV show scripts from six English-speaking countries) and found nearly 1200 instances of “of whom,” most of which come after a quantity-related word. Here are two examples:

I have three sons, each of whom is the center of his own universe. (Home Improvement)
He just wants to do a good job, unlike these two, one of whom forgot to wear shoes. (Man Up!)

If your student wants to familiarize themselves with these usage of "whom," tell them to pay attention to it in Daily News. For example, here are four examples we found:

A study on video games “looked at 3,274 people, all of whom were over 18 years old.”
“The Faroe Islands are home to 50,000 people, most of whom live in Torshavn, the capital city.”
A giraffe named “Forest” is “much taller than the two other giraffes at the zoo, both of whom are female.”
A woman in Poland gave birth to six babies, “four of whom are girls.”

Rule #3: Use “Whom” As the Object of a Preposition (Optional)

If you look up what words are most often used next to "whom," you'll get a list of mainly prepositions. For example, when we searched the Corpus of Contemporary American English, we found that four of the top five words are the prepositions "of," "with," "to," and "for."

This isn’t a coincidence. These days, "whom" is almost always used as the object of a preposition. In fact, a study found that American college students tend to use "whom" after a preposition even when it was grammatically incorrect!

However, we marked this rule as "optional," because English speakers these days tend to separate the preposition from the object, in which case "who" (or no pronoun at all) sounds more natural. For example, if you wanted to express "She's the person to whom I lent my umbrella," you're more likely to say:

She's the person who I lent my umbrella to.
She's the person I lent my umbrella to.

However, if you do find yourself using the preposition next to the object, you'd use "to whom," since "to who" sounds strange.

Rule #4: When in Doubt, Use “Who”

In all other cases, your students are safer just using "who." As the style guide of The Guardian puts it, "If you are not sure, it is much better to use 'who' ... than to use 'whom' incorrectly for 'who.'"

As a fun fact, you could mention that native speakers have been confusing "whom" and "who" for centuries. For example, the Oxford English Dictionary has examples of people misusing “whom” as early as 1467. Shakespeare also failed to distinguish between them too!

And because educated native speakers use "who" as an object all the time, standardized tests like IELTS and TOEFL don't penalize test-takers for doing this. For example, the highest score band of the IELTS speaking test allows for “‘slips' characteristic of native-speaker speech."

Rule #5: Don’t Think of “Whom” as Formal “Who”

Last but not least, remind your students that "whom" is not just a formal version of "who." While it's definitely used more often in academia, journalism, and government, that doesn't mean students should replace all their "who's" with "whom's" just because they're speaking or writing formally.

For example, it would sound strange to say the following sayings with "whom" just because you're in a formal setting.

It’s not what you know. It’s who you know.
It depends on who you ask.

In fact, we found that even newspapers stick with "who" in these cases. We searched through top news agencies from six English-speaking countries and found that with the exception of the New York Times, all news agencies preferred "It depends on who you ask."

So advise students against using "whom" just because they are speaking formal English. They won't impress anyone and at best, they'll sound like a butler!

👋 That’s It For Now

We hope this post gives you an idea of how to explain "whom" as it's used in modern English. Here are the rules again for your convenience.

Use "whom" in "to whom it may concern."
Use "whom" in phrases like "some of whom."
Use "whom" as the object of a preposition (if you want).
When in doubt, use "who."
Don't think of "whom" as the formal version of "who."

Are there any other aspects of grammar that you need help explaining? If so, let Tutor Support know. In the meantime, happy tutoring!