{"id":320,"date":"2019-08-26T00:00:40","date_gmt":"2019-08-26T00:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.engoo.com\/tutors-blog\/?p=320"},"modified":"2021-05-14T10:06:41","modified_gmt":"2021-05-14T10:06:41","slug":"how-to-get-shy-students-to-warm-up-to-you-%f0%9f%99%88%f0%9f%99%89","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tutor.engoo.com\/blog\/about-online-tutoring\/how-to-get-shy-students-to-warm-up-to-you-%f0%9f%99%88%f0%9f%99%89\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Shy Students to Warm Up to You \ud83d\ude48\ud83d\ude49"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You\u2019ve probably realized that many of our students are shy. This is partly cultural; <a href=\"http:\/\/www2.psych.ubc.ca\/~dpaulhus\/research\/CULTURE\/articles\/JRP%202002%20Paulhus-Duncan-Yik.pdf\">East Asians (i.e. most of our students) are generally shyer than, say, Europeans<\/a>. However, culture isn\u2019t the whole story.<\/p>\n<p>For example, a study found that East Asian students in the US are often <a href=\"https:\/\/files.eric.ed.gov\/fulltext\/ED400718.pdf\">more comfortable speaking up in classes with other non-native speakers than in classes with native English speakers<\/a>. As one student (\ud83c\uddef\ud83c\uddf5) said, \"I like ESL class because my English is not good, and other students are the same. I don't feel embarrassed. I can talk freely. If I go to a regular class, they will laugh at my bad English.\"<\/p>\n<p>In other words, what appears to be shyness often boils down to a fear of embarrassment. So how can we make sure our students warm up to us and talk freely?<\/p>\n<h1>Make the Student Feel Good About Their English<\/h1>\n<p>For many of our students, online English lessons are their first time interacting one-on-one with a stranger \u2013 not to mention online and in a foreign language! \ud83d\ude31<\/p>\n<p>Even booking a lesson can be intimidating. As one student (\ud83c\uddef\ud83c\uddf5) shares, \u201cMy first lesson was so embarrassing that I couldn\u2019t bring myself to book another lesson.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then, during the actual lesson, students may worry that everything they say is wrong.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12090023\/image41-2.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"602\" height=\"332\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-324\" srcset=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12090023\/image41-2.png 602w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12090023\/image41-2-300x165.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 602px) 100vw, 602px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>So let\u2019s make them feel better about themselves. We can start by limiting corrections and praising students more often.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ll also want to refrain from asking students to repeat themselves, because this can make them feel more insecure. But what if we absolutely need a student to repeat something?<\/p>\n<p>One tutor (\ud83c\uddf5\ud83c\udded) shared this advice: \u201cI praise students for pronouncing something well and encourage them to say it again. After all, practice makes perfect! For example, 'That\u2019s great pronunciation, Kenji-san! Can we practice it one more time to make it perfect?' (Student repeats \u2018pretty\u2019.)\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And if the student\u2019s accent is too difficult to understand, we could suggest they study using the <a href=\"http:\/\/bibomaterials.com\/pronunciation_material.htm\">pronunciation materials<\/a> before trying anything else.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s also keep in mind students\u2019 limited listening abilities! It\u2019s easy to assume that the student understands us when they aren\u2019t asking questions. However, the truth is that students are often too shy to ask questions or may not know where to start.<\/p>\n<p>As one new student (\ud83c\uddef\ud83c\uddf5) shares, \u201cMy first lesson was painfully slow. I missed something the tutor said, and then couldn\u2019t understand anything else for the rest of the lesson.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So let\u2019s prevent this situation by speaking clearly and in short sentences. Use straightforward expressions \u2013 for example, \u201cDid you like ...?\u201d instead of \u201cHow did you like ...?\u201d and \u201cWhy \u2026?\u201d instead of \u201cHow come \u2026?\u201d This may feel unnatural at first, but it will help the student feel more confident in their listening skills.<\/p>\n<h1>Make a Personal Connection<\/h1>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12085952\/image2-1024x681.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-322\" srcset=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12085952\/image2-1024x681.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12085952\/image2-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12085952\/image2-768x511.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Many tutors find that a good way to break the ice is to make a personal connection. While introducing yourself, find something in common with the student, whether it be their hobbies, interests, occupation, or family. Students are more willing to open up and become more engaged when they feel like the tutor understands them.<\/p>\n<p>Another way to connect with the student is to share your own struggles with learning English. \u201cI often ask them what they find most difficult,\u201d says Tutor Asja (\ud83c\udde7\ud83c\udde6). \u201cThen I tell them that I struggled with that too and share my way of overcoming that problem.\u201d Native speakers can say something like, \u201cEnglish is hard, isn\u2019t it? I\u2019m glad I didn\u2019t have to learn it!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>However, we won\u2019t have something in common with every student. So if you\u2019re struggling to find common ground, just show interest by asking follow-up questions.<\/p>\n<h1>\ud83d\udccc Takeaways<\/h1>\n<p>To recap, here are some ways you can help shy students warm up to you:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12090007\/image31.png\" alt=\"how to encourage shy ESL EFL students\" width=\"602\" height=\"408\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-323\" srcset=\"https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12090007\/image31.png 602w, https:\/\/assets.blog.engoo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2019\/06\/12090007\/image31-300x203.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 602px) 100vw, 602px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Try them out! Who knows? Your shy students may even book another lesson with you \ud83d\ude0e<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You\u2019ve probably realized that many of our students are shy. This is partly cultural; East Asians (i.e. most of our students) are generally shyer than, say, Europeans. However, culture isn\u2019t the whole story. For example,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":137,"featured_media":326,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"unified_meta_tagline_field":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-320","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-about-online-tutoring"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Get Shy Students to Warm Up to You \ud83d\ude48\ud83d\ude49 | Engoo Tutor&#039;s Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/tutor.engoo.com\/blog\/about-online-tutoring\/how-to-get-shy-students-to-warm-up-to-you-\ud83d\ude48\ud83d\ude49\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Get Shy Students to Warm Up to You \ud83d\ude48\ud83d\ude49 | Engoo Tutor&#039;s Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You\u2019ve probably realized that many of our students are shy. 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